OVERCOMING SELF DOUBT: Real Life of this Dame
Have you ever felt that you didn't know what you where doing with your life? Well that is how I was feeling. I quit my job to follow my passion of writing, however a little over a month has gone by and I was seemingly lost in my decision. I have never not worked... I have never been without a job this long willingly, and it was really fucking with me. I wanted to share the gambit of feeling I went through with you to hopefully help someone else who may be going through this very same thing.
I was pumped and super excited to finally be following my dreams. I went through the feeling like I was on summer vacation. Staying up late, sleeping in, and just going through my days haphazardly. I quickly got that corrected, and started getting to work. I was finally able to get one of my visions in motion, Krave Keto website and a Youtube channel while keeping up with my Dame in the Life blog. This was all while fully intending to untimely start and finished the book ideas I had been coming up with the last couple years. I saw people be successful on YouTube and heard stories about people making money on targeted blogs. "Don't worry, it's easy. Use key words and you'll be fine." So that is the direction I went in.
Week Two & Three:
Let's make a video... And a blog... and let's times that by four and post them twice a week on a scheduled while taking Fiverr orders to write articles on topics that I am not particularly well versed in. All while trying to make some money. I felt like I was spinning my wheels. I had a plan but I didn't feel like it was working. I was writing and doing videos on what my daily actions were and what should be done, and I was following this plan, but still wasn't feeling the fulfillment I was looking for. I was constantly reminding myself to give this venture a fair shot before I gave up.
Well in truth, I've always just wanted to write to share my knowledge and possibly help someone in the process. I also wanted to share my stories. My intentions where to continue blogging, while working on these. I felt like I was getting so caught up in the making money aspect of it, that I haven't written one word. In four weeks, I haven't added to any of my stories. So in true Megan fashion I had a mild breakdown (I'm totally being dramatic) but definitely had to sit down and figure it out.
Now I was totally questioning myself and my decisions. Should I go get another job? I know I can. In the field that I was in with the resume I have, it wouldn't take but a phone call. But here I sit, recording videos hoping to what? To be a celebrity of sorts? Do you see where the questioning comes into play?
When I was at work, I accomplished tasks. Actions that I could check off and mark as done. Aside from my continuous posting, I am finishing things, but there was not that end of the day feeling as tasks being completed.
I have decided to focus on what I had starting out planning to do in the first place. Write my stories and continue with my blog that I have been doing for years now. I will task myself with 2500 words a day, and two post to Dame in the Life about topics, well, such as this. It isn't going to get anymore "day in the life" than this right here.
I am going to stay focused on my new task at hand, and keep the positivity in the forefront on my mind. I will be keeping track of the completion of my tasks and before I know it, I will have my story completed. It is time to truly follow my dreams and make this a reality.
By: Megan Nikole
Just a Dame in the Life